3 Things to do When Things Don’t Work Out

It has been a difficult week to say the least and although I try to focus on sharing joyful moments here, because the world has enough pain and suffering in it, an occasional slide down the mountain is to be expected, before we can continue to climb again. Plus it keeps things real. And is part of the journey to joy. My rose coloured glasses are only mildly tinted. (smile) And this after all is life. Though we try to live with alegria, life also includes some potholes. And both the joy and the potholes serve their purpose. This week has been full of those potholes, unexpected problems leading to conflict and uncertainty. So how do you handle it when things don’t work out?

I think that is the magic question. Mindset is everything. At my age I’ve learned that anything can happen in an instant and it can reshape your life permanently. Things that you take for granted can slip away suddenly, and foundations that you thought were built on rock turn out to be Papier Mache. So I have learned and practiced, practiced and learned to go slowly into the dissonance and rest there for a while.

It is horribly uncomfortable of course, though there are three things I do while there to help ease the discomfort. One is, I tell myself that everything will look, be and feel different in 24 hours. Because that first 24 hours in a shocking situation is when your brain is attempting to come to terms with the reality of the situation. And depending on the situation, it doesn’t mean everything will be fine within a day, but it gives you time to assess your own feelings and responses, without dispensing overbearing reactions driven by temporal emotions.

The second thing I do is accept that this is how it has to be for now. Especially in situations where I lack the ability to change the outcome or the variables.

And the third is to believe that perhaps something good will come out of it. As it often does a while down the road. The universe is working to your benefit and the road of disappointment will lead to a beautiful destination. When we find meaning in the adverse event it eventually leads us to joy and gratitude. It is the universe’s way of saying, “not now, but soon, and better.”

In his magical allegorical book, The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho writes,

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Paulo Coelho – The Alchemist

I do believe this, wholeheartedly, because I have experienced this several times. I’ll say that I’m not perfect, emotions can become overwhelming and I do slip and slide down the mountain sometimes. However, I keep practicing my three things.

This is also where Lizette’s 4 Steps come in. Click the link to read Vicki’s post on her former student Lizette’s way to “keep cool” under stress. Believe me I needed them this week. Thank you Lizette and Vicki for sharing!

And how about you? How do you handle it when things don’t work out? Can you share a tip on how you handle a stressful situation or when things don’t work out as planned?

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This is the Journey to Joy series. Write a post, like a gratitude journal about something you’ve experienced on this journey to joy. Link your post in comments by next Friday, and I’ll share it in my next Saturday’s post.