4 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Rejection

A couple of days ago I posted about the turquoise house. There’s so much that I could have said about it and one of the things that stood out for me is how our fear of rejection prevents us from being ourselves.

Many of us humans struggle with acceptance, the need for approval. We’re conditioned to conform to ideals that may not be our own choosing and thus we become untrue to ourselves, living half a life, instead of the one we were designed for.

I’m not immune, and am slowly finding my way back home to who I truly am, like it or not. Not that I’ve ever struggled with speaking my mind and offering my own opinions (sometimes unrequested), but I have to some degree conformed. Marriage, children, dogs, a house, education, a fantastic career, all of it. No regrets. Yet, that free spirit that has always lived in me, that my parents nurtured, diminished a little along the way.

Would I have had the gumption to paint my house turquoise 20 years ago? Doubtful. Would I paint it turquoise if I wanted to today. Yes! Absolutely!

Recently Vicki wrote a post called The Unfolding in which she spoke about Kurt Vonnegut’s quote. I have seen the video by Sir Ian McKellen several times and the quote too keeps popping up everywhere for me. Call it synchronicity or an algorithm, either way it has reached me so many times, I have to share it here.

“Practice any art . . . no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

So what can you do to experience becoming and overcome the fear of rejection?

1. Be who you are regardless of the potential for rejection. This takes a fair amount of courage depending on your conditioning, societal controls and family pressures. Be brave.
2. Start small and let it flourish and grow. If art is your thing, just paint. You don’t have to think about it or have any skill. Let it come from the heart. Skill is for surgeons, you are a creator.
3. Find your kindred spirits, the people who support you and guide you. Hold hands and walk together.
4. Listen to constructive criticism, but not negative self talk. Constructive criticism helps us grow. Negative self talk dulls our shine. Shine your light, the world needs you.

There is something so emancipating in not caring much what people think. When we release ourselves from the bounds of judgement we feel the sense of freedom that comes from being authentically ourselves. We become. And it’s then that we can enter into the realm of joy.

It is certainly a balance. I care enough what people think to wear a bra when I go for a walk 😂, but I don’t care enough that I won’t do a sudden twirl with my hands in the air exclaiming out loud what a beautiful day it is.

I’m grateful for my journey, all of it. And boy does it feel good to be home, even if it isn’t turquoise, yet!

I’ll leave you with one last 30 second thought on not caring much what others think. This quoted from a book that was published in 1869! Little Women by Louisa May Alcott.

So now it’s your turn to tell me, what else can we do to overcome the fear of rejection? What has worked for you? Share your tips in comments below or in your own post.

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This is the Journey to Joy series. Write a post, like a gratitude journal about something you’ve experienced on this journey to joy. Ping back or link your post in comments by next Friday, and I’ll share it in my next Journey to Joy post. Let’s share the joy in this journey!

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